I haven't posted in a while because things are so miserable. But then it occurred to me that I've climbed into my shell and I'm not talking to my friends and people who care about me... So, since I don't want to call everyone and talk about how bad it really is, I'll post here.
I'm hanging in there. As long as I do not talk to Jim, I do okay. When I do have to deal with Jim, or speak with him, I tend to cry (go figure) and get VERY upset and yell and shout. When I am away from him, I'm okay -
Jim has already found another woman he wants to marry (they've been together 6 weeks and he met her two weeks after I filed divorce). He completely ignores Nicolas and never asks about him. He only briefly texts or speaks with Sophie - he goes to his girlfriend's house in Milwaukee nearly every night. He still isn't paying full child support.
This is a Jim I don't even know - Jim was always an attentive, even helpful father. Now he has moved on to a new life before the old one is even tied up.
It is frustrating, painful and difficult to cope with.
I'm getting lots of massages, using deep breathing and yoga to get through.
I have hope that the future will be better but the present is very dark... the worst part is not knowing what to do with myself when the kids are with Jim. I've been a mom and wife so long I don't even know what I like to do anymore - forget scrapbooking, those pictures are tooooo painful. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated...
On a plus... my hair is growing! And I've lost 30 pounds... about 20 more and I'll be back where I want to be.
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1 comment:
You look great Sandy-hang in there- love you-Heather
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