6 months, 20 days later

What a difference half a year makes.  The house is gone.  The kids are gone.  My life is very different but I am making an effort to move forward and be happy.
I live in Baraboo, WI now.  Very different, but different can be very good.
I have love in my life, true love.  A man who appreciates all the good in me and overlooks my flaws, which we all know aren't insignificant.  I am with someone who I have so much in common with.  He is gentle.  He is kind to everyone.  He cries at sad movies.  He never says anything hurtful and makes it a joke.  I am at peace with him.
I miss Sophie daily... but I have no control over that situation at all.  All I know is that I am so much better having no contact with Jim, even if that means no contact with Sophie.
I miss Nic daily too, but Nic is Nic and loves me in spite of my mistakes.  He wants to come home and I want him home but that is out of my control as well.

It's camp time again!

It's that time of year again... Camp!  All year long Nicolas talks about camp, asks to go to camp and reminisces about camp.

This year his first camp was at Wisconsin Lions Camp near Stevens Point, WI.

It was great to walk up to the sign in tent and have everyone remember Nic and have them comment on NO CAST this year!  Yeah! 

This year I got a phone call from camp for the first time in four years.  On Wednesday night the phone rang and the nurse from camp informed me that Nicolas was sick and couldn't keep any food down.  They were asking me for ideas to help him but they didn't ask me to come get him because he didn't have a fever.  It took him a while to feel better even after he came home so his first camp of the year wasn't as successful as we would have hoped.

It was a great week for Sophie and I.  We've quickly navigated back to our old selves and I know we feel comfortable together again.  We had a quiet week without Nicolas but it was good to see him again on Friday when we picked him up.  Life just isn't the same without Nicolas.

Sophie and I watched movies and I even got some scrapbooking done.

Our summer is already slipping away... tomorrow is July 1st already.  This weekend is the Monona Festival and the fireworks.  No party this year... its so hard when friends are divided up.

Life with the kids is settling in.  I'm grateful that the kids were returned to me permanently.  We are a family and we work well together.

The next two months are full of uncertainties - the possibility of having to move, the finalizing of the divorce and preparing for a new chapter in life.  The one thing we can count on is CAMP!  Nic has two more weeks in Iowa - and he can't wait!

It's camp time again...

yesterday I drove Nicolas to Rosholt, Wi to attend Wisconsin Lions Camp for the 4th summer in a row. I am always grateful for these camps and the opportunity they give Nic to be "just like everyone else". While we were driving I mentioned to Sophie that she could work at camps like this when she is in high school and college for summer jobs. She is so kind with Nicolas and his Special Olympic teammates, I think she would enjoy the work.

When we arrived at camp we took our annual traditional picture perched on the bronze lion at the entrance to camp - complete with Nic's cast. After meeting his counselor and getting him checked in Nic happily said, "see you Friday, Mom!" No tears this year - he was super excited to be at camp. We even found a cast cover so Nic can swim and get wet -

Speaking of cast, Nic's break was actually worse last week. Luckily he has a high pain tolerance and hopefully it will heal up before basketball and track next year.

Top picture taken July 12, 2009 - bottom taken July 2006 - still the same boy!

Thank you God, for your faith in me, but I really need a vacation from my life...

This is Nic. Nic went rollerskating with his class on Monday, fell a few times and complained of ankle pain. (First sign something was wrong) Tuesday, Nic woke up with a black and swollen ankle so off to the doctor we went. Xrays taken, no break just a bad sprain. Into an aircast he went and off we went to 8th grade graduation and the dance afterward. Ring, ring... phone call from the Radiologist telling me that Nicolas has broken his Fibula and needs to come to UW Children's hospital for treatment. Possibly surgery... ugh! Off we go and luckily, no surgery needed but this fracture is a "no weight bearing" type of injury - try explaining that to a kid with a cognitive delay, a high pain tolerance and no ability to work crutches. I finally convinced the Nurse that he HAD to have a walking type cast... after all tomorrow is the last day of school and Nic has daycare and all his camps... no water, no swimming... what am I going to do. Thank you, Heavenly Father for having so much faith in my ability to cope with stress, but could you please give me a vacation from my life??? Just a month or two with no crisis, no problems, no stress, no tears - please??

On a better note, Nic graduated middle school last night and was given an award for making Honor Roll and also a special achievement award to recognize his growth... I cried like a baby. I'm so proud of him... he is one of the best things I have done with my life.

The JOY of running...

Yesterday was the area 6 meet for the State of Wisconsin Special Olympics. I LOVE Special Olympics - I love the athletes who cheer for their competition - I love the volunteers who treat the athletes like the superstars they are - I love our coaches and their families who give up lots of time and energy to help our team practice and succeed. Overall, our team did really well but of course I am most proud of my boy, Nic! What an athlete! He blew away the competition in the 100M dash and took first place so we're off to state in Stevens Point on June 5th.

I love this picture of Nic - he just looks so HAPPY running - oh, to be young again and rejoice in all that my body could do! I wish I felt this kind of joy on the treadmill.

Life goes on...

I never thought I'd be one of those crazy sports moms running to and fro with kids and gear and trying to get a meal in between - I gave up my mini van before Sophie was 3 and let's just say that my hot red convertible is not a good car for toting sporting kids around - but here I am. Last night Sophie had cheer practice in Sun Prairie from 5:30 - 7:30. Nicolas had a Special Olympics basketball game from 6:00 - 7:00 pm on the East side of Madison - Sophie and I dashed out of the house at 5:00 and hit the interstate to run her to practice and I raced back to watch Nic's 1st ever basketball game. Jim was there, helping to coach and Grandma, Grandpa and Nic's teachers were there too. All too soon the clock said 7:15 pm and I raced back to Sun Prairie to get Sophie and bring her back to Culver's for some post-game custard with Nic, Jim, Grandma & Grandpa. When we got home at 8:30 pm I was ready for bed!

This was the very first game our little team of 7 athletes had ever played. We played against an adult team!! Giant men towering over Nic and his 6 female teammates! They played their hearts out and stuck it out 'til the very end - but the scoreboard was turned off after the opponents were beating us by 20 points. Nic shines on the basketball court and I can't wait to see how the season progresses.

Sophie's cheer squad had a competition in Appleton, WI last weekend - they took 1st place! Its so fun to see her confidence and tumbling grow with each competition.

I got a distressing call today from a friend who is suffering financially and its spilling over into her marriage. I could relate - it is often so easy to point and blame rather than work together I can see how the economy and financial difficulties can stress out relationships. I feel for her, I've been there and I gave her an ear for awhile and then I called Jim and asked him what he wanted for dinner. I want to show him that I appreciate his long hours in the cold weather while I sit comfy in our house and work from home.

It's still cold, at least two feet of snow on the ground - but spring is coming - it does every year!

so... where did those 3 months go?

So, I'm probably the worst blogger ever. My life is just so crazy sometimes. So, quick recap of the last 3 months...
Nicolas went to 2 more sleep away camps this summer and fell in love with his counselors at both camps. He started 7th grade at the beginning of September and is doing well. This year we hope he'll grow a lot academically because he's adjusted to the school he's in. Unfortunately, 6th grade was a transition year for him, not much growth because he needed to get used to being in middle school.
Sophie is Sophie. My nine year old going on 40. One new thing for Sophie this year is her participation in competitive cheerleading at Badger All Stars here in Madison. Its a great program and I already see her self confidence building. We'll be traveling to competitions, the first is October 19th in Peoria, IL.
Work at home has been slow, but I've taken a new position as an on-call coder at St. Mary's Hospital. It seems like a very good fit for us with the kids needing me home by 3 pm every day.
I turned 35 on August 17th - and to treat myself I finally bought my red convertible I've been wanting. Lucky me!
On August 23rd a tree fell on the house, crushing and destroying the master bedroom closet. Nice to get a big check for shopping, not so nice to have to deal with the water, the contractors and the mess. Just about done cleaning it up and I used the opportunity to move my laundry upstairs... woohoo!!

My nephew Kendric is smoking up the football field as the varsity captain at Monona Grove High School. We try to catch all his home games. He also made homecoming court!

My neice Alyssa is doing well with her baby Rhianna. Sophie's biggest complaint is that we don't get to see her enough.

My neice Chandra and her husband Nick welcomed their son, Wyatt to the world on October 2, 2007 after a crash c-section. Mom and baby are doing well and he looks a lot like his daddy.

I really want to try to keep up better... this really is a good way to keep everyone up to date on what's going on with us...

coming soon.... pictures of my awesome red car!