Renewal

While I'm struggling to figure out what my life is and where it is going I am trying to stay positive. Sometimes, this is difficult - but today I was given a glimpse of hope, and proof that all is not always lost.

When we bought our home 8 years ago it was fall, but the backyard had large lilac bushes along the back fence. I was disappointed in the spring when there was not one flower on any of the several bushes in my yard. For 5 years, no blooms. Our backyard was very shady, so I thought that might be the problem. 3 years ago in the fall I cut the bushes way back, trimmed them down and fertilized them with the hope to renew these plants and get them to bloom again. The following spring I was rewarded with one sprig of blooms way at the top of one bush, I couldn't even reach them to cut it and bring the scent of lilacs inside.


That summer we lost another one of our ancient oak trees and suddenly our backyard would get some sun all day long.


Last spring, I was rewarded with maybe a dozen blooms total on all my bushes.


This year every bush has many blossoms, growing and blooming and I cannot wait for the scent of lilacs and the chance to cut stems and put them in a vase on my table.


All is not lost, renewal takes time - even in nature. A group of lilac bushes that never bloomed have now erupted in blossoms of purple after getting what they needed. Wish I knew exactly what it was that worked, but I'll just enjoy the final outcome for now.

Job hunting sucks... and other babbling.

Okay, so I got fired, yes, fired back in March from my job for pretty much just annoying the doctor I worked for. Anywho... job hunting sucks! As a medical coder in Madison, Wi the job choices are slim pickins. Most other places in the US there are tons of jobs for coders (and WAY better paying I might add) but Madison has the distinction of 3 local schools cranking out new coders at the rate of 6 graduating classes a year! So, I apply for everything I'm qualified for and I wait. And Wait. And Wait. And I go on interviews that I think went great, but then two weeks later the yucky rejection letter shows up and my self esteem slides down into a pit and I have to use Chocolate Custard to pull me back to normal. Don't get me wrong, sucking unemployment is okay, and being home with my kiddos is awesome because Day care is so expensive its like extortion. (leave your kids here today? Sure, bring a lunch and leave $400 on the counter please. And we'll need that $400 every week, just so you know) But, I miss work! Mostly I miss the money. I want a new house but my sweet significant other says we can't afford it because I'm not working. (where's that Chocolate Custard?) But, after 3 months and 6 days of unemployment I'm seeing light and hope on the job front. Had a super cool interview yesterday where the interviewer said, "we're just looking for the right person, then we'll work with their schedule." Ah, fantasy! I'm trying to get hooked up with some staffing agencies that hire remote coders. Work from home, in my jammies (sans bra) and get paid twice the going rate of the jobs locally and no daycare, no commute, just work! I finally have gotten to the second interview stage with two companies and I'm waiting for a project to start. Contract work is something I haven't done before, but I'm going to give it a go... I have a friend who is doing this and yes, it is for real, and yes they really pay you - but they make you take these horrible, awful coding tests where people have diseases that are so rare you'll never see them in your work but you have to code them correctly before they'll let you code their well baby visits. Crazy, but I've taken about a dozen tests, I've got a few more laying around for those days when I'm bored (or insane) and I'm finally feeling like somethings going to click... oh honey, that house is still available!

On another note, (this is the babbling) I have the most awesome digital camera. (Canon Rebel XT) that I know I'm not using to its full potential. I really need to bust out the manual and read. I futzed around taking some pictures the other day and learned a couple of things:

1. When using my 70-300mm lens I really need a tripod. The lens is just too long and wiggles too much.

2. I HAVE to read the manual to find out what all those kooky modes really do. I took pictures of the same astilbe plant using a different setting and sometimes they looked the same.

3. I really like taking pictures and if I do it more, I'll get better at it.

Here's one I took:


Wisconsin has really pretty flowers to go along with its cheese and cows! More later...